Born Again!!... and again... and again... and again...

Attending a new church over these past few months has brought forth some things that one is hardly confronted with when attending the same church since birth. Upon coming to my new temporary church and meeting people, they began to ask me when I became a Christian.

I could not answer them.

I would say things like, "Oh you know... there was this time a while back... when I felt like becoming one... so I did." The thing is though, what exactly does it mean to "become" a Christian? I had never been faced with this question before. Attending the same Church since birth, people just naturally assumed I was "christian" and never gave it a second thought.

So how does a "christian" become a Christian then. Is it through a pledge-- an acceptance of a certain doctrine. Is it through a traditional ceremony like baptism or profession of faith. Possibly, but those are just vehicles through which one publicly and symbolically expresses his desire for God-- for God's involvement in his life. So then, to become Christian one must accept Jesus into his heart-- into his life.

It seems though, that over the years, I've done this countless times. Each time accepting God for different reasons.

In my early childhood, because I grew up with Christian parents and because they told me to in Sunday School. Not much to say here. Basically a sucker for institutionalization.

In elementary school because my friend(s) said they were. Pier pressure anyone?

In high school, because that's the customary age at which a young "christian" does his profession of faith. Merely for ceremonial reasons and tradition. It felt real and sincere at the time, and maybe it was, but any any lasting effect of this "change" drowned out after the initial celebration faded away. I was the same person, only now I'd been to some classes and told a bunch of people who already knew me I loved Jesus. Same me, only formally a Christian now.

Then of course there's now. Having moved away from Christian School and into University and the world beyond, I've begun again to feel compelled to give my Heart over to Jesus. This time for protection. Wishing him to safe guard it from the evil that besets me. The corruption of the secular world seeks to draw me eternally away from him. I cannot hold on. Alone I cannot stay this course-- hold my Heart in place. I need Him to do it. I need him to protect my Heart, so that my eyes may see the world, but my Heart may not absorb it. I wish to see the brokenness of this world, but not be consumed into it. Only He, at this time, can safeguard my Heart. I feel I need him too, from the brokenness I see in this world. Having stepped over the threshold from my Christian Cottage into the surrounding Secular Wasteland, I've seen the terribleness of this society we live in. A society in need of God. A society that, if I am to live in it, requires my acceptance of God now more than ever.

Will this time be THE time? Were any of those previous times THAT time? I've never not believed in God, I've always trusted in Him-- in the path He'd lay out for me. Yet I never had that one pivotal moment all people who become Christians are "supposed" to experience. Should I have one of those? Is that the way it's always supposed to work? I suppose I may find out some time. But until then I must give my self up one more time


















I lay my Heart bare at your doorstep oh Lord. I come knocking-- rapping at the door to your safe haven. Keep my Heart safe, and carry my Soul down Your Holy path as this flesh travels the roads that court Hades. Though I cling precariously to these last remaining threads linking me to my previous life, hold me steadfast Lord. Do not let me fall off this precipice into the swirling waters of this society, to have my head crushed against these boulders-- these stones of empty satisfaction. I give up Lord. Hold onto me Lord, because only You can.

Pictures

[Insert random spiritual and thought provoking comments relating to above photos here]

Sorry, but schools got me too stuck in "right brain" mode to say anything interesting right now. I can tell you Phasor value of the current through a 10 microFarad capacitor hooked up to an sinusoidal voltage source of amplitude 5 Volts, frequency of 5kHz and phase angle of pi/6 radians.... -0.5<4pi/6, w = 10kpi rad/s

Random Ponderings that May be Right or May be Left (i.e. your gonna burn in Hell with all the other liberal heathens!!!...REPENT!)

How great is God? I think that is something we can never fully understand here on this earth. I believe we tend to constrict our understanding of God to the limits of our physical understanding on things. We take the idea that Man is made in the image of God and flip it, creating God in our image of man. But our image of man is limited. Rather we need to imagine God as something much greater than our own physical viewpoint of who we are. Then does this mean that, since Man is created in the image of God, there is much more to us then what we physically define to be man? In away, yes. God is far Greater and far more Amazing than man, and by looking beyond our physical selves, we can get a glimpse of the Greatness in Whose image Man was created. There is more to God than man can understand, and there is more to Man than man can understand because we are made in the image of God. That’s not to say that we ourselves are gods, but that we possess a spiritual side that goes beyond our limited physical definition of man. As God’s creation, we are perfect. But we can’t achieve perfection on our own. Adam and Eve tried it; they took the forbidden fruit believing it would make them like God. We too, try in our own ways to achieve perfection outside of God. But we fail miserably, because the only way to achieve perfection is through God, because only He is perfect.

Thirsty

I remember walking by a pop machine one time. Actually, I've walked by quite a few machines of the dispensing variety (loaded with sugar or otherwise). But this particular machine led rise to an epiphany that has been plaguing my mind since my footsteps traversed beneath the shadow of cold red machine with its ominous product placement, waking me late at night to a cool sweat and a million pseudo-religious thoughts ripping through my mind, numbing my brain. As I recall, I walked by the machine rather nonchalantly. As I passed by however, I glanced over at it. Immediately I began to feel increasingly thirsty; I wanted some coke (no not the illegal stuff). Upon further inspection, I found that it wasn’t the big red coke label on the machine that made me thirsty, nor the hip and moderately sexy looking (at least I think they were, nobody uses ugly people in advertising) young people holding up some pop cans (which is odd because I think this machine sold bottles, not cans). It was the numerous images of tiny water droplets that covered the big red coke label. What I really wanted was cool, clear and pure Dihydrogen monoxide. Instead, my mind had been tricked into wanting what the much more prominent coke label was offering; a false solution to what I really desired.
So to, do we often desire certain other things. Unfortunately, things like wealth, lust and sex (of the let’s screw everybody cause it feels good variety) rear their ugly heads, offering themselves as a solution to our needs. We feel that these are the things that will quench our thirsts and desires. In actuality however, what we really need and desire are happiness, joy and companionship. I wonder where we could get those things...? Anywho, I guess it just seems like the world is offering quick, easy, seemingly good (tasting or otherwise) solutions to the emptyness in our lives... and they make us go pee too (there might be a deep metaphor in there somewhere).